Tahun baru berdiam diri dalam sebuah ruangan berukuran medium.
Memulai perjalanan baru dengan menutup buku. Tidak. Buku itu masih ada, kok. Mungkin sewaktu-waktu aku akan membukanya sebagai bahan referensi. Menulis cerita baru juga butuh referensi dari sumber-sumber lain, toh!
Belum tahu pasti kira-kira seperti apa ya cerita di tahun depan? Yang pasti perjalanan si tokoh dalam buku cerita itu tidak melulu tentang realita saja. Ada mimpi di dalamnya. Ada imajinasi. Ada peri-peri cantik penghibur lara. Ada pahlawan bertopeng mungkin. Hehehe...Nobody knows.
Yang pasti sampul bukunya tetap sama kok, hanya saja isinya lebih veriatif dan dinamis. Bukan tentang Rapunzel yang terkukung diatas menara. Hei, tapi Rapunzel berhasil melihat dunia pada akhirnya. Butuh keberanian lebih untuk turun dari menara. Ya, itu semua tidak terlepas dari sang laki-laki-pencuri yang membawanya melihat dunia.
Sepertinya di buku itu ada sosok laki-laki pendamping tokoh utama. Hmm...
Mudah-mudahan di buku edisi terbaru ini, sang lelaki dan si tokoh utama akan menjadi pasangan sepanjang masa. Hei, tidak ada salahnya memprediksi dan berharap-harap cemas. Tidak ada salahnya membiarkan dongeng-dongeng bercengkrama dalam kehidupan kedua insan sejati itu. Toh, Kierkegaard pernah berkata 'percaya kepada yang absurd'. Mungkin khayalan yang menjelma menjadi sebuah harapanlah yang membuat manusia tetap bertahan hidup Dan satu lagi pastinya...C.I.N.T.A. Mungkin sebagian berkata itu hal picisan cengeng. Tapi, buktikan saja! Apa kalian bisa hidup tanpa lima huruf tersebut. Bukan sekedar nafsu dan romantika belaka. C.I.N.T.A mencakup seluruh aspek kehidupan. Trust me!
Hmm...berkata teerlalu jauh sepertinya. Tapi, ku dengar cerita di akhir buku sebelumnya menceritakan segala keindahan dan berkah yang luar biasa. Desember ceria. Begitu katanya. Aku turut senang. Berharap lembaran-lembaran berikutnya akan menjadi lebih indah dan sempurna. Meskipun tidak ada KESEMPURNAAN yang mutlak. Tapi, semua menjadi sempurna ketika kita bisa membuat ketidaksempurnaan menjadi suatu hal yang sempurna.
Halooo, rasa-rasanya sudah lama saya tidak membiarkan jemari ini menari-nari mengikuti kata hati dan menyusuri setiap lekuk labirin otak kanan dan kiri untuk merangkai imajinasi indah maupun nakal. Bukan saya tidak ingin menuangkan semuanya, hanya saja sang waktu dan raga tak kuasa mensinkronisasikan diri atau mungkin saya yang terlalu terhanyut dalam realita yang kadang tidak cukup ditumpahkan dalam serangkaian kata. Entahlah.
Atau mungkin justru terlalu terbatasnya suara yang mampu menggemakan gaung kehidupannya. Sedikit karena mungkin hal itu dianggap sepele atau justru dianggap terlalu melampaui batas 'sepele'. Entahlah.
Yang pasti, mungkin ini waktu yang tepat untuk memulai kembali. Membiarkan jemari ini menelusuri setiap desahan nafas dan peluh yang tercipta demi sebuah dunia kecil bertajuk fenomena. Merapatkan mata, membuka lebar cakrawala dan memulai sebuah perjalanan panjang dengan segenap hati dan sepenuh jiwa.
Ya, kita makhluk yang bebas dengan keabstrakan nyawa yang justru memberikan berbagai warna. Jika dipadu-padukan justru menciptakan satu warna yang mutlak.
Entahlah.
Mungkin, sudah saatnya untuk memulai kembali.
Hei, tunggu!
Biarkan suara itu tetap menggema karena memulai bukan berarti mengakhiri.
I don't mean to be liberal or something, but somehow I just enjoy letting my minds grow little bit 'naughty' about how my life should be,
well, it doesn't mean I am wild, bitchy or something called 'out of track'.
NOPE! Not at all...
it just fantastic when you could see something from other different perspective, something that out of mainstream, something out of the box...Hmm, but wait a second, again I wanna tell you that it doesn't mean I move out from my box, okay?
This is another one....
Don't judge me for something well that you are not really sure what is it about?
you just know me from the surface...hell yeah you don't know me after all..
Don't catch me from the-so-called 'in-my-opinion' or 'as-I-know-about'...
wow, go ahead judging...I don't really care...I don't but yes YOU DO, right? Simply sorry I am not in #sigh#
Just gimme a space...
as long as I don't bother your own business, please don't give your shit of mine.
I don't mean to be sarcastic or what, I just need a space...hear what I said SPACE!
I don't ask you for money, house, or other luxuries stuffs...I just need a SPACE.
Hey this is my FUCKIN' LIFE, man!
You are not in because you will never know how 'FANTASTIC'' my life is, whoaaa yeah desperately 'FANTASTIC' you know,
poor, you don't even know what does 'FANTASTIC' really feel? is it full of ROCK, full of LAUGH or it is only about MISERY. Nobody knows coz' you never know.
We started our faith through words of unlimited space, We gradually moved through the touch of our own sentences screen, We were so into the discourse of us, You were talking about ‘little goddess’, him as the thinker, myth, witty or wise, or even beliefs or disbeliefs—those cost you a lot of your own simple straight track Me was more about definitely graceful words of figurative world and its old-stuffs-world-histories—those made me deadly sick of being logically logic like yours (nay, it was bloody so cool, I mean it!) Connected well, somehow not really, that how we passed through the drought season… Me looked pale and was hesitate, somehow sick of the fate, but there you go, pushed me on the faith and threw me to the framework of logical box to stay on… Sometime it was bloody hell yeah hard to pass, but somehow it was easy while you were always there convincing me that those ‘little goddess’ truly existed around us….
Time passed us by without a simple scale of (re) solving or (re)meditating, We have travelled along the sandy dessert hand-by-hand, We have sung wonderful songs to the wasteland so he could give us more than a silly promising-fate like they usually uttered as a lie, We have lived the drought through the wet, and it was tears of ours, and it was sweat of ours, and it breathed us to keep giving back and on…
And yes we both have travelled across the universe these twelve simple months for some good-reasons, for some good-aims, for some good-confessions, for some good-surrenders, for some good-life, and yes it is for some good-heritage of humankind…
We come to love and be loved, For the time we never know when it ends.
This is the seeds that should be poured by faith and trust til’ someday it will grow as sturdy plants of happiness and kindness.
P.S: No gift for this blessing day for two of us, but there is only a plate of wishes and prays for this blessing time. May God will always give His blessing for the next level of our life—it may be harder than before, but no matter how rough it will be, God will always with us for some good reasons for our BEST life. Happy blessing belated time of ours, dear :)
Feminist issues are such never-ending cases in this world since the word ‘emancipation’ was propagandized by some feminist figures. They have been suing the equalization in giving some roles and social identity between men and women. Liberal feminists are struggling for the right equalization between while radical feminist tend to reject in patriarchal system and give their so much rejections in symbolic order which is dominated by the men.
These studies are classified as feminist approach in literature criticism. In this approach, feminist oppose essentialism in their studies. Essentialism is a belief that things have a set of characteristic which make them what they are, or the doctrine that essence is prior to existence. They refuse this study, and point out that the property of feminine and masculine are the result of social construction, and it’s not coming from their innate quality as feminine or masculine. Extremely, Butler stated that biological differences between ‘man’ and ‘woman’ which are dichotomist are also the result of social construction. Social construction is the way people construct and judge men are considered as strong, while women are considered full of tenderness. Looking at this extreme paradigm, I have different perspective opposing the concepts. If ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ were shaped by social construction, my question will be ‘what is our existentialism’, ‘in which side we will stand’, ‘who decide what we are’. We can’t deny that since we were born, the gender has already embedded to us. It could be seen from our body construction that could distinguish our gender obviously. Scientifically, some research shows that our genes and hormonal point of views describe our characteristic that have already made ‘man’ and ‘woman’ different in many cases, not only from biological point of view, but it’s deeper than that. The ‘message’ inside our genes indirectly takes a part in shaping our characteristic, and it is then continued by ‘social construction’ mentioned by feminist. The ‘essence’ and ‘social construction’ are connected each other in distinguishing feminine and masculine. Then, how about heterosexual cases, well, I can say that, scientifically, heterosexual is the effect of genetic divergence which their body hormonal is not balance in amount, yet it still could be changed. However, it also needs some external factors as the support of the changing, which is (again) social construction. Heterosexual is not only the matter of choice of human’s life, but it is also supported by their environmental surrounding. Consequently, heterosexual is not the only reason for feminist to define ‘feminine’, ‘masculine’, or biological construction on them (man and woman) are the result of social construction because there are more complex explanations in scientific point of view and also as the matter of ‘essence’ or ‘destiny’ studied by essentialisms. In brief, what I want to say is that human characteristic whether it is ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ has already embedded as the matter of human essence since we were born, and this prepared characteristics are potentially dig and shaped by the ‘social construction’. Those procedures continue simultaneously, and we couldn’t separate one of them.
The other issue of feminist is about the equalization between man and woman, and feminists refusal in patriarchal symbolic. Well, if we talk about equalization between man and woman, we have to deal with the definition of ‘equalization’ itself, what kind of equalization do they want because it’s impossible to make man and woman definitely equal in many ways. Naturally, men were stronger enough in physical point of view; they are intelegence-animalia (metaphor for the man characteristic as an animal, but have intelligence). That’s why, they tend to be more brutal than women, and sometimes they could be uncontrollably doing something. If we take a look some years ago, the time when women were limited in many ways, and always be the object of man sexual abuse, it is because the quality of men who are born as intelegence-animalia. This historical background has led women to make some movement to destruct the gap. Since that, women could have some freedom to express themselves in many ways. I absolutely agree with statement that women should have their freedom and the right equalization as men do. However, the freedom and equalization that I support are in the case of education, jobs and etc, but they have to realize their position, their essence as the woman. We could have the highest education, we could have our dream-job, we could do man’s job, we could do everything freely, but we don’t have to forget our nature as woman. We grow in the country which gives so much respect in its custom and cultural values. We are woman couldn’t do something that violate our custom and cultural values, and so do the men. Although we are given freedom in many ways as women, but we still have to control ourselves, we have to see our nature and essence as the woman, and we can’t deny it. Consequently, if we want the equality as the man have, well we have it, but we can make it as equal as man because man and woman were born differently with also different role in this life. The only problem of this case is that, man sometimes cannot respect woman as the way they are. Men tend to use their power to manipulate the weakness of women, and this is actually what the feminist want to fight for, and sometimes feminists could be so much radical in their fight. We cannot deny that as the women we are born as weaker than man, but God has the reason for it. Women were born to control men’s brutality, and men were born stronger to protect the women, not to manipulate the women’s weakness. Well, this is actually the problem we are facing in this world. If men realize their role and give so much respect to women, there will be no more brutality in men and radical ideology in women because they have already understood their role from being different.
In brief, men and women were born to complete and control each other, not to destruct one another. Since we have our mind as the tool to solve our life problems, there is always so many ways out to make the harder to be easier. We don’t have to pretend because in fact men need women, and vice versa. This is actually life, we live in space with so many differences, but it’s the only way to shape our mental to be wiser and more respectful creatures on earth.
Being a Lecturer is now included in my dream-job list. I don’t even know the exact time that I can be so much in love in teaching. I used to dream to be an ambassador by the way, but the dream continually faded away since I couldn’t continue my study in International Relation Study. Now, I am majoring English literature in university of Indonesia. I really love learning English anyway. That’s why; my second choice in university test is English literature.
Previously, I thought that English literature is only focused on learning English as the language, but in fact my studies are more than a language approach.I got so many interesting new experiences in my major. Furthermore, since I studied in this university, I started my experience by being an English teacher for my Korean friend. I got so much enjoyment and satisfaction in teaching. I will make my students to understand fully through my lecture. I won’t let them going home in confusion. This is why, sometimes I don’t want to get paid from my teaching, but my Korean friend usually paid me by treating me out some meals.
Lately, I feel that I can make my hobby in teaching to earn some money. I started to find out the job by applying my CV to some teaching-vacancies, and it works although sometimes I found that the fee is not negotiable. Actually, I never give a calculation upon the fee because the important thing is that I can teach. Giving me chance to teach is kind of self-satisfaction for me. However, my mother and my friends started to remind me that everything in this life cannot take for granted, my knowledge should be rewarded. Consequently, now, I cannot easily accept the entire offer given by the institute to me. I begin to calculate the fee and transportation outcome equal with my efforts, and so on. Maybe, I can say that I am a bit materialistic, but I don’t think it’s a mistake because what my friends and my mother said were right, nothing is free in this world. However, eventually, fee doesn’t really matter for me as long as I have an opportunity to teach, it is more than enough.
Teaching is more than just a hobby for me, but it has been being a part of my life. As long as I could transfer my knowledge to other, I will do it no matter what people said about it because my goal is to make them to be well-educated generations. Indeed, I really hope that I could be an English Lecturer in FIB university of Indonesia which has given me so many experiences and has inspired me to continue my life-journey. I do really hope, and I hope my dream will be come true. Amen!
What stupid cannot tell is about reality Thry are hiding on their stupidity Why do they have to be somebody give a mocking words upon anybody sarcasm? they are not really that trash, but they are trying to hide from the thing shut your fuckin utterances about idealism of something you called "cool", "incredible", or whatever you said about those, Wake up, dude! Life is not taht too simple, and it's not all about you, your feeling, you have to be more sensitive with your surroundings, try to catch up other one's feeling, they are NOT you..
Living untouched from reality is the rules of your play, Act some roles given daily Hiding from who you are should be, Persuading is the only term uttered along the screen, And it is the brand since we first met, You have just shaped the world into what you want them to be, Stupidly they imitate those catchy horrendous stuffs, Innocently they decode the twist behind it, They swallow those stuffs by no digesting or filtrating, You are deliberately giving away your ideology, Sink them into the aimlessly world that they wish would never touch, Make them as your never ending guinea-pig of never ending ideology of screen offered They grow no typically they do, They act and talk similar, They dress also similar as other do, no more identically as “you and me”, You play it successfully as the object of your money-oriented and so does profit-oriented, Your roles on the screen is the magic box that all imaginations and fantasy live, Lift the reality upon their brain, Shift it by the new concept of yours through their brain also, Woefully, they follow your flow of stereotyping and being not so proud of themselves, It grows continuously, and it’s gonna be never-ending stories of living between fantasy and reality.
Women are always identified as feminine that is naturally embedded to them since they were born. They were shaped contradictory different personalities with man, so the famous book stated that “Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars” which implies that both men and women are obviously different not as the matter of gender, but it’s more complex than that. Women are the gentlest creature ever, they act with their heart rather than logicality, and they are so elegance in many ways. What does exactly the things which could make women as the gentlest and the most elegance creature on earth, and what the fact nowadays tells about this phenomenon? Do they still exist as the elegance who ones always tell?
What makes women look elegance are the way how they keep their secrets from others and their independency in handling everything ahead. First thing first is about how they keep their secrets. Well, the term “secret” in this case is not literally “secret”, but it has wide meanings. Women who are not easily talking or exposing about everything they feel, all their personal life, their privacy, and all the things related to theirs to others can be considered as mysterious. Consequently, this mysterious atmosphere they built will make them far more elegance because they could divide which is something that they should tell and which is not. They are likeable when they could cover themselves and being a listener rather that talking too many unimportant and useless things like gossiping and other women things usually do related to talking habit. This talking habit which grows uncontrollably will only lead them into the one whom easily to guess and no more special to others because they have already opened up themselves freely to public (publicity). The other “secret” means not exposing your physical appearance which makes you as the public intake for all the sights. However, the facts show that women nowadays grow as far more aggressive in many ways so that they stand as no more elegance. The brand of elegance and gentle which always embed to women is continuously disappeared from our life. The other thing what makes women look elegance is that their independency in handling everything. Believe it or not, women were born as a tough in many ways they do, but not all the women realize this because they still stuck in the old-saying stated that women are weak. This conventional thought makes them depend more to others, and they tend don’t believe in their capability in handling everything ahead. Actually, they who are brave enough to take a risk and stand steadily facing the obstacles in this life by their own feet, independently, will make them look stronger, and this is the other way to define “elegance” as the aspect of women who are considered as feminine. Unfortunately, what the fact tells today is that women are prone to “play save” in their life. Well, I think it’s not too late if women try to fix all the condition better so that they could stand still as the creature with their elegance, gentle, but also tough, and they are not only living as the creature who must be protected by the men, but also as the one who must be respected their existentialism as well.
On my last word, to be or not to be is the matter of choice of our personal life, but we cannot stand away from the values and the nature of being a woman. It’s our duty to maintain it. Don’t let the word “freedom” kills our ideology of being woman.
The previous concept of art was valued as stuffs of aesthetics which only showed gracious among the production of art itself. Beside that, the existence of art in the past was seen as something trashy. The famous philosophers, just called Plato, Aristotle, and Socrates, have quite similar perspective for the art conception. They stated that art-made was the imitation of the ‘nature’, and it’s not originally made by their pure instinct of human being. This notion will then emerge some figures who encountered against their perspectives toward art which see aesthetics value as their own taste and their own interpretation. In its development, art today is more than just a stuff of aesthetics that express every little thing in gracious or even beautiful ways, but all works of art, no matter it is about the madness of something, an evil side of human race or even the goodness of them, they will be always considered as the aesthetics part of art.
However, what I am going to explain deeper in this journal is that about my lecturer notion about aesthetics, “The aesthetics value should be taught since we were kids, and adult may not give a limitation to the growth of the kids. Let their expression through art grows freely”.
Well, what my lectures was trying to say is that, she tried to comparing the way kids express their self through art between American and Indonesian style. She said that kids in Indonesia are prone to be limited by some unwritten rules and any judgment in expressing art. We can make an example from the drawing point of view; kids will be set that the picture of scenery is always about the view of mountain, rice field and the road in the middle of it. However, kids are the phase of human’s life which is unshaped and still abstract in creativity. They will freely draw something beyond their own imagination, and without some regulations about how is the right one to draw something that could limit their freedom, but unfortunately she said, Indonesian people tend to give the limit to kids in expressing their imagination by giving the correct information what the drawing should be. For instance, kids draw the sun under the mountain meanwhile the correct place for it is on the sky. If we people find out the case like this, we will directly tell the correct place where the sun should be placed to our kids. Furthermore, in contrast, American people are freely let the kids make anything based on their imagination, no matter it is right or wrong, kids won’t be judged and limited, but they will get praise for their works. The differences have shaped people among these two countries far different. My lecturer said that it will be better if Indonesian people could imitate American style in giving a freedom of expressing. Actually, I disagree with her opinion about it. In my point of view, Indonesia and America stand as two different countries with different historical and cultural background. We cannot easily implement American style into Indonesian people because it won’t be appropriate for us; moreover the mental of our people is different with them. Beside that, being a kid is the phase of personality-shaped of human’s life. The way how they will live in the future represents how their childhood is, so if since they were kids, they were given a freedom to do something that is not right, they will get accustomed with the mistakes without knowing the truth of it. Then, when they are getting older, and they have to be bounded by some rules, it will shocks them, and the worse is that they will try to ignore the rules and being so much rebel. This is what I am afraid of implementing American style in Indonesia because as the matter of facts, Indonesia is the country that is covered with lot of moral values that cannot be easily ignored or even let it away meanwhile America lives beyond the liberalism concept. Well, although, it starts from the simplest thing, which is art expression, but this is the starting point that will determine the other steps of human’s phase of life. It’s better introduce the values and rules of life sooner rather than late because analogically, kids are just like a blank paper, and what is going to be written there is based on how we were shaped. This is why, when kids are getting older, they have already known which is right and wrong, and it will be their right to choose which ways they will take then.
Briefly, aesthetics is the value, whether it is in art point of view or our life, it is not as rigid as it was. Aesthetics value cannot be judged from one point of view, but it shows more than we know.
The first start of this blessing year, I was began with boundaries that stiff me inside the dark circle, counting the days to normal life, waiting for the amazing miracle of happiness among us, love we share, love we need were almost destructed, Universe is still amazing for its man, but not for me, for you, for us, Emptiness brought our selfishness to the front, I myself could not feel the relieve, all stuffs were stuck in one side, that I couldn't explain, it's all about what our heart said, but we never gave any pure admission toward our heart, we were growing too selfish and too self-centered without giving some kind aura to our heart, while your heart spoke at once your mind called logic stated and shouted on your head about wicked way
to solve these madness, We just went around the line, and it was sometimes getting harder, I hated it lot! Did we ploy of the bastard demon? Being hurtin and broken fed my life, and so did your life, I guess, stop... I want to end and close this January with purity, Stop arguing and hurt one another! Let's being one unity and giving our love affectionate like we always did.
Hell yeah, I can't not say it was good yet it's true my January is blue.
**Let's start new wave on the new month-Hope the better one will do, for you, for me, and for us**
Ketika rasa tak lagi bicara, ketika raga tak lagi berdaya, saatnya kata bersuara. Ungkapkan segala keabstrakan duniawi melalui fleksibilitas kata, kelenturan verbal; niscaya tak ada ruang dan batas yang tersisa.
