Maret 04, 2014

"All those fairy tales are full of shit" (Maaron 5)

Just like fairy tales, the Prince came to safe an ordinary life of a girl, took her to a great palace, got married and lived happily ever after. What a cliche story! (Yet, I'm still dreaming that my life would end up just exactly similar to those fairy tales) Wait! I know that's not gonna happen! Those fairy tales are kind of joke to me now.

Well, congratulations for those whose life is as beautiful as the life of the Princess in such happy-ending stories and Be TOUGH for those who are not. I am talking to myself anyway.

I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I am a bit concern of my future, I mean what's gonna happen with my life after the wedding knowing how tiresome and hard we have been fighting for all these love drama. I come to realize that I am so damn stubborn, selfish and inflexible in some circumstances, yet it happens with (a) reason(s) which I don't need to address what it's all about.

We're close to marriage! I am supposed to be happy, aren't I? I have dreams of having a small world where I, my future husband and my children would start creating a history, holding each others' hands when we fall, having each others' backs when the outside world becomes mean and cruel and just growing up with the ones we love. Am I that selfish to dream about those things? I don't need a big luxurious palace to live in, nor abundant gold, nor a magic wagon to take me to the sky.  I need only a simple happy family where everyone can learn how to be grateful and thankful for God's grace and could share the love we have.

Yet, I'd rather keep my dreams away from my reach because that's not gonna happen in my case, darling. I'm gonna live in someone's life and devote myself to it, and it scares me to death.

I keep telling myself not to let reality bring me down, but it's not easy I would say.

We want it, but sometimes life offers us with no option.

So, Maroon 5 is right about 'All those fairy tales are full of shit". 

Februari 28, 2013

One of the untold story

Welcome March!

There were tons untold stories last month which I might not share with you. How life seems unpredictable and full of surprises. It was started last week when I was finally accepted to become Ambassador's secretary for Korean Mission to ASEAN. I was glad that I would step out to my new job and ready to experience more things there. However, I decided not to take the job for some reasons which I will not share here. Basically, everything is so promising there and I should not be worried about my financial issues. They offer incredible salary. I mean it! Big "BUT" is still I am unable to accept the job. Perhaps, one of the reason is that my current job gives me more challenging experiences and allows me to meet many new and important people. Well, I need more time to learn back here before starting my new experience to another job in the future. Honestly, I feel regret for my decision, yet it may be a sign of the universe. Maybe.

Desember 20, 2012

Letter from Earth

Dear Folks,

Recently,  you realized one thing that you are standing all alone while life is getting so much harder. You've been crying for so many times, been feeling insecure for all ages and been suffering a lot for what you are going through. You know that they will judge you such "too exaggerate simple things", "complaining a lot". Well, you don't mean to exaggerate, but this is what you actually feel and they're supposed to (have) experience(d) the same thing as yours. Let's just say it's a transition time. Time when you are in line between your dream and reality, between your life and others, between your luck and destiny. Sometimes, you found yourself trapped in between and could never help yourself to go out. It's just that you don't know whose dream you are pursuing? Is it yours?

I am afraid of wasting my time for something that I am not supposed to do, yet there's always lesson I got for the thing such "something that I am not supposed to do". I mean, you may wish for grasping the Earth with your own two hands, yet the Earth is unreachable. Then, you start to think about grasping a half of it, yet it's still unreachable. Eventually, you decide to giving up the Earth and moving on to the small planet which promise you better life than Earth has, yet it's not what you really want. You are staying for the sake of your fear of failure caused by your previous efforts.

Does it seem unfair for yourself? You know what you want, but you are just too afraid of getting out. You wish you could have a better life in that planet while you know it's not. You earn something, but get nothing.
It's time to ask yourself what your dream really is. You may hear words of others telling you what you are supposed to do, underestimating, mocking, making fun of your dreams, but who the hell cares with them. This is your life. You control it and you are the creator of your own destiny. Why bother thinking of someone else's thought. You know what you have to do and you are ready for the risks you will bear. Success cannot be instantly achieved. Neither is gifted nor granted. It sacrifices life, time, energy, and even blood. 

Free yourself from mind and fear slavery! Reach your dreams even they seem impossible. The impossible is only for the unbeliever!

A dream catcher

November 05, 2012


Welcome back Monday!

I am not in a mood of working today because of  diarrhea. I didn't eat last night and craved for balado chips which is damn hot and spicy. Therefore, I suffered diarrhea.

Lately, I've been feeling so lonely. I don't think people around me can listen what I am actually going through especially this person who keeps telling her stories without even asking how's mine. Somehow, I could survive with it but sometime, it's just annoying. That's why I'd better not talking.

Actually, I am planning to move to new dormitory where I could indulge myself after working and feel safe as well as comfortable while staying in my own room.

Oktober 23, 2012


So, I am done with concert stuff.

Sometime, I found myself working more like and event organizer rather than secretary to the ambassador, yet it's fun and challenging!

It was only one week preparation for the concert: designing the invitation, printing, distributing both electronically and non-electronically invitations, organizing sound system engineer, dealing with venue manager, guests listing, going to the airport to pick up the band, organizing their accommodation and at the same time working on office administrative tasks (clerk), visa (good or us during that week we had less applicants) and arranging the seats formation for the concert. I am glad that everything was set in time!

I can say that the concert is successfully commenced. We had more than 150 guests and everyone had a great time!

I am so excited and do really LOVE my job! :*
Hopefully, I can always give my best and contribute more to Embassy! ;)