The Confession of 20-year-old young girl

I keep wondering how does it feel being 20?
And, this is it...Now I am officially 20-year-old girl with (again) never been growing up as my age.
somehow, I felt that twenty is scared me a lot, it has no number "one" following the other numbers, and it's been replaced into number "two" which then follows other numbers as well. Yeah, actually this is the phase into the word of "MATURITY". Maturity? I dont really know about it and seems like I have no idea regarding that word. Honestly, whatever the reasons are, I do hate to be mature! Surely, I have no guts in facing the reality coz' life is like a big prison to me. '

Well, can I stay in that land, where all fairies lived and spread their blessing to our little kids? I wish I could...

Anyway, God served me a big plate of dishes at once on my birthday; they were problems, confusions, unstable life, and a huge number of ordeals. Maybe, God wanted to know how expert chintia in handling all those crazy stuffs at once, and maybe it's kind an opening stage of our life to pass another stages afterward. It's like doing a midterm test of the first-year students in the university, when everything is vague and we just try to make the best guess as we can do. Just like a map to guide us accross the jungle so that we will not lost.

Oh dear, those are exactly what I felt of being twenty. Fantastic, Incredible, but somehow it's hard! However, I do believe that it is just the strating point to find my personal legend, like what coelho stated in "The Alchemist". It's long way to go, and it's such a never-ending journey to be there, but I will never stop to walk and run as quick as I could. I don't want to be a dreamer who lives in the fairy tales, that tells only one part of human's character and human's life.
This is life, hunny! It's not all about greatness, satisfaction, and the stage of acts where you could fulfill and get everything you need, but it's all about how you strive harder to survive in all conditions we are going to face. God has answered all those difficulties by giving some choices for His Men in this world. We hand it by ourselves. So then, what should I am worried about in facing reality? There are no more reasons to be afraid and stucked on the faith.

What I have to do just keep moving on the track, the path of mine. One aim, one vision, one fighter!

It's such a blessing moment of my life and be gratefully I said to You, The Almighty Allah, The Lord of the universe! I hope I could fix the guiltiness and start with the white space of pure heart to continue the journey to gain my "Personal Legend".

God, guide me to move straight in your lighting path, reminds me when I begin to turn against your way, then forgive me for the shadow around my way to You.
I am remorsefully ask your apology and give me the second chance to fix everything in my life.

Lastly, Welcome to reality, my young-twenty-year-old girl!
You will make it, chintia!

"I am tough, I am rough!" (smirk) ;)



Oke!
Terimakasih untuk segala berkah dari Sang Maha Segalanya, Allah SWT atas waktu dan kesempatan sehingga saya dapat menikmati pergantian usia yang kini telah berkepala dua. Wow. Wow. Saya sangat tidak siap untuk menghadapi hari ini. Tapi, so many thanks buat sang pujaan hati yang selalu siap sedia dan dengan penuh kesabaran mendampingi saya dalam menghadapi setiap fase hidup yang terkadang membuat saya lelah dan ingin mengakhiri semuanya, namun dia dengan penuh kesabaran me-re-charge jiwa yang lambat laun mulai kosong ini. Yah, kepada Rohmansyah Putra Agung, "Thanks a lot Hunny. You are the light that never dim". Begitu juga dengan makhluk-makhluk yang kusebut sebagai teman dan sahabat :)
You guys are just more than that AMAZING! :)