Lampung at first day is "GALAU"

Lampung, 28 Desember 2009


I have just arrived in my hometown. Naturally, I was not born in this place but I did grow in this place. However, I don't know why and how everytime I make a step on this land, I always feel like it is such the safest place to hide from all the crowded that always clouding out my mind and heart, and I don't even know how and why I can be so much in love with this town although most of people sometime made fun about my hometown. Silly! Anyway, Do I care?

Something has just happened in my life and something has just changed my life into gloomy life. I can't picture happiness again, and I can't picture the satisfaction in me and also my surroundings. The more I run, the harder I caught. Feels like I have just run for almost a thousand miles without a stop, without a rest, and It hurts.

Loser! That's the way I am, but it's the way I wish I never did even felt about it...
Just like drowning and found unsaved life in the middle of the sea...I cannot escape from those insanities, and I wish I could escape from those by going back home, but it's now going wrong. I cannot run to escape myself, to escape from this pitful feeling, but now I cannot step back out from this rough road. Those a heap of novels I brought that I wish I could make them as a trahs and the real escape from reality, it just only excerbating my condition, this painful situation.
How can I walk meanwhile I don't even know how to start, and how do I help someone else meanwhile I don't even know how to help myself. I am stupidly loser,you named it, and it's all okay!

My life scattered, and I need my new wave of life.
Well, don't ever tried to suggest me to end everything I've just started because I'm tired of failing through something lately for several years before, and I guess I should make it at end savely and gracefully whatever it takes! I will build my own place where the safety and fulfillness can obsess into my soul.